5 Video Game DLC So Bad, They Should Be Considered Scams
Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Downloadable content is to games as cannibals are to surgery: Both are meant to make things better, but both can eat my asshole. DLC allows developers to make extra content for their fans in the same way swords allowed people to go to neighboring villages to help carve turkeys.
Virtual clothing packs cost more than entire independent gamesbut at least virtual horse armor is now the good old days. Modern DLC is paying developers to discover the exact minimum quality gamers will accept.
These are the assholes who fell short of that minimum with all the grace and subtlety of a long jumper missing the sand because they were trying to pick the judge's pocket as they ran by. The Saboteur was the final release from Pandemic Studios, a developer owned by EA at the time, and it played like the bailiffs hauled it from the building along with the coffee pot and vending machine.
The game ran like the Matrix on a with stuttering animations, random glitches, and AI that occasionally decided it would rather die than keep playing. Either that or there was a subplot with the unquiet spirit of a dead cat randomly possessing people to stand on high places, run out across roads for no reason, then suddenly lie down on the ground. But the studio didn't have time to finish the game.
Instead, they developed the worst DLC in the history of the world. It's the purest possible expression of true DLC: They hadn't even finished programming "enemies die when you kill them as opposed to when they get bored by your presence" but shifted resources to "replace these cartoon pasties with cartoon nipples. EA "Oh yeah, feeling really good about my life right now. So you've just paid 5 bucks for electronic areolae.
You'd think things couldn't get worse. But getting-worse-ology seems to be EA's entire business model. Because once you'd bought your literally bit-ty titties, EA had your money and that's where their interest in the situation apparently ended. So they switched off the servers and kept all the money. The nipples disappeared forever -- a virtual nipocalypse -- along with every other element of the paid expansion, and anyone complaining was buried under endless pages of end user license agreement and the crushing knowledge of how far they'd fallen in life.
Golf is the rich people equivalent of licking the entire countryside so that nobody else can use it. The only human activity to use more ground for fewer people was the Apollo moon landings. Electronic golf is a great idea, because golf was already the most utterly artificially contrived challenge it was possible for humanity to construct. Switching it to software saves people the bother of walking. EA Faithfully simulating the "whacking golf balls in front of crammed hordes you don't even view as real" dynamic.
You didn't buy a game; you bought an advertisement. Over half of the game's courses were locked behind paywalls, and EA's insistence you could get them without cash didn't fool anyone for a single second. Because the process took weeks. You had to earn coins to rent the locked courses, then use your rental time to complete "Gold Course Mastery" challenges. Which were on par with hitting a gold ball through the eye of a needle that already has a camel wedged in it.
And was equally aimed at rich people. By the time you unlocked the courses through game play you'd be too busy being presented to the Vulcan Ambassador as the oldest human alive. The exchange rate between playtime and new course rental was about the same as trying to buy real golf courses by working a minimum-wage job cutting the grass. But less fun. Dragon Ball Z would consider the amount of time taken to earn this ridiculous.
All this in a game with loading times that felt like swimming through a molasses warehouse after an earthquake and DLC adverts after every second pause.
A more enjoyable and less agonizingly drawn-out version of home golf would be swallowing the balls whole and trying to shit them onto a moving Roomba. Battlefield 4 is the latest in a series of army-themed games where the single-player mode truly captures the experience of being a soldier.Sims Crack 4 is widely popular due to offering the new world to enjoy digital life.
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Download PDF A very good, very outrageous year In the US, Trump floundered from one scandal and gaffe to the next, entirely failing to pull any policy levers that impacted markets even as he took personal responsibility for a stellar year in stock markets with record low volatility.
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Many misinterpreted this to mean an absolute end to the calendar, which tracked time continuously from a date 5,125 years earlier, and doomsday predictions emerged. In 1992, he published a book, ominously titled 1994.
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Perhaps his most high-profile predication was for May 21, 2011, a date that he calculated to be exactly 7,000 years after the Biblical flood. When that date passed without incident, he declared his math to be off and pushed back the end of the world to October 21, 2011. Taiwanese religious leader Hon-Ming Chen established Chen Tao, or True Way, a religious movement that blended elements of Christianity, Buddhism, UFO conspiracy theories, and Taiwanese folk religion.
Chen preached that God would appear on U. The following year, he prophesized, millions of devil spirits, together with massive flooding, would result in a mass extinction of the human population. Followers could be spared by buying their way aboard spaceships, disguised as clouds, sent to rescue them. He attracted as many as 100,000 followers who believed that they would be carried off to heaven when the date arrived. When the 1843 prediction failed to materialize, Miller recalculated and determined that the world would actually end in 1844.
She began publishing her own books and eventually developed a following of as many as 100,000 believers. In 1813, she announced that in the following year she would give birth to the second messiah, whose arrival would signal the last days of the Earthdespite being 64 years old and, as she told her doctors, a virgin.
She died before a baby could be born. Because the Bible calls 666 the number of the Beast, many Christians in 17th-century Europe feared the end of the world in the year 1666. The Great London Fire, which lasted from September 2 to September 5 of that year, destroyed much of the city, including 87 parish churches and about 13,000 houses. Many saw it as a fulfillment of the end of the world prophecy.Baskow Light Heavyweight Title fighter Jon Jones trades punches with opponent Daniel Cormier as they battle during their UFC182 fight at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Friday, January 2, 2014.
Full comments policy Conor McGregor stops Jose Aldo for fastest finish in title fight history Conor McGregor became more than UFC featherweight champion with his 13-second knockout victory over Jose Aldo.
Main Card Results WinnerLoserMethod Conor McGregorJose AldoKnockout Luke RockholdChris WeidmanTKO Yoel RomeroRonaldo "Jacare" SouzaSplit Decision Demian MaiaGunnar NelsonUnanimous Decision Max HollowayJeremy StephensUnanimous Decision DateEventHeadlining MatchLocation October 7 UFC 216 Tony Ferguson vs. Kevin Lee Las Vegas: T-Mobile Arena October 19 Golden Boy Boxing on ESPN Gabriel Rosado vs. Glen Tapia Las Vegas: Park Theater October 21 UFC Fight Night 118 Donald Cerrone vs.
Darren Till Gdansk, Poland October 28 UFC Fight Night 119 Lyoto Machida vs. Derek Brunson Sao Paulo November 4 UFC 217 Michael Bisping vs. McGregor fight Written by Nikhil Sonnad August 26, 2017 We're both gonna be rich anyway. But how much they win or lose depends on the betting odds for the fight between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor, which have changed dramatically since they were first recorded.
Mayweather has an inhuman 49-0 record in boxing matches, while McGregora mixed martial arts and UFC fighterhas not fought any pure boxing matches professionally. That imbalance has made Mayweather a massive favorite, but since the fight date was announced in June, the odds have tightened. Those numbers require some explanation of the weird betting odds system used in the United States, called moneylines.
So the more negative the moneyline for an outcome, the more likely betting markets think that outcome is. The biggest winners, of course, will be Mayweather and McGregor, who, win or lose, stand to earn hundreds of millions of dollars.
McGregor: The latest odds and how the betting moneyline has changed over time","facebookTitle":"How the odds have changed for the Mayweather vs. McGregor fight","facebookDescription":"The moneylines for the match are getting closer and closer. We'll be back soon.
Vegas reveals the betting odds Contributed by Jordan Zakarin Sep 6, 2017 Share This Post Shared 2 Comments Once again, Lucasfilm has removed a director from a Star Wars film.
After booting Chris Miller and Phil Lord from the Han Solo spinoff this summer, and sidelining Gareth Edwards for big reshoots and edits on last winter's Rogue One, the latest forsaken filmmaker is Colin Trevorrow, who will no longer be at the helm of the untitled Episode IX.
By now we know the drill: Lucasfilm releases a statement (or not, in the case of Edwards), fans speculate as trade reporters scramble for insight, and then a few days later, a new director is named. Now there's a new wrinkle in the process: During that speculating phase, people can put their money where their fan theories are by placing bets on who will fill the biggest job opening in the galaxy.
Raphael Esparza works for Doc Sports and My Bookie, and lays out lines on not only sports, but pop culture events as well. He's put odds on various Game of Thrones twists, and even Rey's parentage.
Abrams boy, and has great experience with visual effects. She would add a female influence that I think Star Wars IX will have. Shana O'Neil Sep 12, 2017 Star Wars: Episode IX opinion Star Wars: Dissecting the director changes in a galaxy far, far away Lucas Siegel Sep 5, 2017 Star Wars Star Wars: Episode IX Star Wars: Episode IX lands new writer Matthew Jackson Aug 1, 2017 J. Abrams Star Wars: Episode IX J.
Abrams says he never intended on returning to Star Wars, so what changed. PreviewsWatch Artists Sketch All Comics Latest Stories X-Men filmmakers look back at what went wrong San Diego Comic-Con has won its trademark lawsuit against Salt Lake Comic Con Jessica Jones is back on the job with new trailer and release date.
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Danny Drinkwater is out of Chelsea's trip after missing three days' training through illness while David Luiz remains sidelined with a knee injury and Conte reluctant to put a timescale on his absence. The Blues, who have been without Charly Musonda and Kenedy in recent weeks, also have "two or three" undisclosed doubts. Joe Cole joins the team on Premier League Live Joe Cole joins the team on Premier League Live Watch Chelsea TV free this Christmas.
Christmas comes early for Chelsea fans. Watch Chelsea TV for free from December 8-18 on Sky channel 421. West Ham have won just two of their last 22 Premier League games against Chelsea (D4 L16), losing both matches last season 2-1. Manchester City 2-1 West Ham Manchester City 2-1 West Ham Half of the eight Premier League defeats that Chelsea have suffered under Antonio Conte have been in London derby matches - Arsenal, Tottenham and Crystal Palace (twice) during the Italian's reign.
See 2017 out, and the New Year in, with a bang. There's more than 50 live games on Sky Sports this festive season. Upgrade to Sky Sports. This will be the 41st consecutive Premier League matchday in which David Moyes has started in charge of a team in the relegation zone, breaking the Premier League record. Eden Hazard has been directly involved in seven goals in his last eight Premier League games against the Hammers (four goals, three assists).
Chelsea 3-1 Newcastle Chelsea 3-1 Newcastle Nine of Manuel Lanzini's 15 Premier League goals for West Ham United have come in London derby matches (60 per cent) - this includes two in his last two against Chelsea. These aren't the games that matter for West Ham.
I know it is a London derby and they don't like each other. I don't expect them to get anything from this, but if you lose to Arsenal and Chelsea it isn't too bad. It is the games against Stoke, Newcastle and Bournemouth that matter most. Chelsea are a superior football team by far. West Ham's battles are still to come. Chelsea have turned a corner, and have some good fixtures coming up, so I expect them to be putting pressure on Manchester City.
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